Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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