what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
40s are totally the cure
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
