no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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