Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
