Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she peed on how many people?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
