the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
