How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
