I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
