After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
