: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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