So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
