Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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