Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
