She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
