Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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