I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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