i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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