Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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