In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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