No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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