One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
