This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
