Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
