the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
