Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
