Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
