cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
