I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
