Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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