i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
