Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
