Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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