My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
