You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
