i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
