After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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