Moan for me like Helen Keller
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
