I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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