I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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