I think my vagina is haunted
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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