The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
