I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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