if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize