So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
