I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
