Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
