Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
