I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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