what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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