well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
