hell yes lets make some ravioli
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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