did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This is not my ceiling
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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