My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
