i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
