She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
