yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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