So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
