I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
