"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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