I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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