so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
