i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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