God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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