Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
