Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
