he shaved USA in his pubs
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
