Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize